Will You Worship? Group Creates Religion Based on Beyonce

Religion Created based on Beyonce

 “Our most sacred text is a compilation of all of Beyoncé’s verses and lyrics. Through our Beyble, we can better ourselves and strive to become truly Divine Divas.” Shouts of “Surfbort!” were made by fellow divas.

A group of 12 friends from Atlanta, Georgia have taken their admiration for the singer Beyoncé to a more spiritual level. Zay of www.MapeNation.com reports that Pauline John Andrews is the founder and self-proclaimed “Minister Diva” of the new National Church of Bey.

What is now known as Beyism began about two years ago in a run-down garage in Southwest Atlanta. “There were 12 of us,” Andrews explained, “and we used to gather every Sunday and sing her songs together. One day, while drinking Moscato and smoking Beyha (marijuana), we analyzed one of her songs and came to the realization that Beyoncé is truly divine.” From that moment moving forward, Andrews took the reigns as the leader of the Divine Divas.

Some time in the summer of 2013, they adopted the name “National Church of Bey” and registered themselves as a non-profit institution. Pauline John Andrews proclaimed herself the first Minister Diva of the National Church of Bey. Through donated funds, and by all 12 members emptying their savings accounts, the church was able to purchase a building that would become their first temple. The rest is history.

Today, the National Church of Bey is thriving and shows no signs of slowing down. The congregation has grown to 203 official Divine Divas. One random visit to the temple on a Saturday night would prove to be an interesting experience. You would get to listen to Minister Diva Andrews preach from the principal text of Beyism known to them as the Beyble. Andrews explains, “Our most sacred text is a compilation of all of Beyoncé’s verses and lyrics. Through our Beyble, we can better ourselves and strive to become truly Divine Divas.” Shouts of “Surfbort!” were made by fellow divas as a sign of approval for her statement.

Minister Diva Andrews estimates that there are at least 58 million worshippers of Beyism, but 99% of them simply don’t realize it. “Whenever you see a large group of women defending  the actions of her divine divaness, Bey, they are practicing Beyism,” Andrews explained, “It is not about believing she rose from the dead, or that she is perfect or anything like that,  it is about recognizing that she is the Divine Diva that we all strive to be.”

As for who can join the National Church of Bey?  Well, 100% of the congregation consists of women, but males are welcome to join the church on the strength of one condition – they sacrifice their manhood.  All males are to go through a symbolic ceremony known as Bicchen in which they symbolically remove their penises and then declare their allegiance to the Divine Diva, Bey.  At the conclusion of the ceremony, the member then achieves the status of Puhcee.

What the future holds for the National Church of Bey is unclear.  The hope of the church is that the millions of fans recognize that they are practicing Beyism.  Once this happens, the true aspirations of the Divine Divas can finally be met.  What is that you may ask? According to Minister Diva Andrews, it is “for the whole world to bow at the feet of the Goddess Beyoncé and recognize that she is the Diva of all Divas!”


  • Alex Barranco

    They want millions of people to bow down to beyonsey?I rather spit in that whores face.

  • Stunner

    to hell with that religion!

  • Anonymous

    This is totally silly. I did get a laugh at the “Beyble”. Beyonce has great music but… c’mon!! WOW. This was super funny

  • LIGHT SEEKER

    INSANITY, THEY ALL GOING TO HELL!!! IDIOTS!!!

  • mbali

    This is unbelievable

    • sahr Emmanuel James

      all those who practice beyism are truely the lost sheep of JESUS CHRISt our LORD who truely are in need of reedemption so that they will not perish, let the church our LORD continue to pray that their souls will not perish in hell. because the wealth or fame they are seeking is not worth compared to their souls

  • kelz

    Hahahaha,,,cum tak ma prick den…Gosh!

  • ISAKA

    Madness. Who created that ‘devil’ Beyonce? Beyonce should know she’s responsible for the crew that’s following her to Hell

  • Kay

    This is hilarious …..ALL HAIL BEYONCÉ

    • Ticha Willibroad

      beyonce,WOMAN OF THE DEVIL, REPENT OR YOUR FINAL END HAS COME.

  • T

    Rubbish

  • Melbin

    lol

  • barati obocheleng

    that insane,there is onli one living GOD Jesus Christ

    • Charbel

      Amen your words are so true God Bless